My lady at work was pleasantly festive today.
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My body hurts. Everything from my muscles to my jaw to my hair. Yes, my hair hurts.
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I’ve been nervous in the mornings. At first I thought it was work — just general anxiety — and then I thought I was drinking too much coffee. But I’ve figured it out. It’s our morning routine.
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Warning: This post might make boys squeamish. I’m a little squeamish about it myself.
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There’s a middle-aged woman in my building at work who regularly wears completely inappropriate clothes. Overalls shorts? Slinky, wrinkled shirts? An inch of skin showing above the waist? Yes, please. I like it.
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My husband and I discussed what he informed me is an age-old question — how to make a Web site look and act the same in every browser. As usual, the technical jargon was lost on me. But this is how I understand the quandary of computer programming (or at least html language) as it plays out in different browsers: It’s like IE8 is Texas and Firefox is Colorado.
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This is probably the equivalent of yelling out the answers while watching jeopardy by myself or responding to Delilah’s questions outloud when she asks her radio listeners if they’ve planted a garden … but I do both, so here goes.

I have a flood of new readers! Eager to hear more from me, apparently. Complimenting posts as far back as two years ago. Telling me I should post again soon!

This, not two days after my Spam-a-Lot entry. These comments DON’T have misspellings or crazy links in their messages or a jumble of letters that don’t mean anything. But upon closer examination, they do have weird links for their URLs, which I would never follow to find out where they go. But those links don’t get posted with the comment.

So, my avid readers, I’m keeping your comments. It makes me feel good to see a new name telling me to keep writing! Yes, I WILL continue posting. Yes, I DO have great insight. No, I DO NOT want to make $300 a day online. But I’m keeping your comments, still. Even if they’re all for your own spammish motives, and you’re actually a virtual robot or somesuch.

Shout out to Michael Bolton.

In light of the stormy weather, I’ll relay a quick snippet of conversation between my husband, who knows all things, and myself, who doesn’t. Apparently.

Thunder: “BOOOOOOMMMMM!”
Him: “Do you know what thunder is?”
Me: “Of course I do.”
Him: “Oh really? What?”
Me: “It’s the clouds crashing together.”
Him: “Hahaha! Are you serious? Oh, I’ve got to tweet that. Do you really think that’s what it is?”
Me: “Shut up. What is it then?”
Him: “Blah blah blah, electricity, blah blah, raising temperatures, blah blah, air.”

One of these days, I’ll casually ask him … the ingredients in meringue or what a shuffle-ball-change looks like. Then whose face will be red?

You better knock … on wood.

My husband, a software engineer who makes it his life’s purpose to know everything, recently explained the philosophy and tactics behind spammers. I don’t remember anything specific except the one thing that I’ve always known but never wanted to admit: those spam e-mails that make their way by the hundreds into our inbox … they purposefully have typos! They spell words incorrectly because it tricks the filters.

I always just shook my head at those subject lines about the priem ministre of zimbabwe or how I can please my woman all lnog nigt. Those foolish e-mailers, I thought, they think I’m really going to wire them money or buy their love pills AND they don’t know how to spell. Someone send these poor people a link to one of these prestigious online universities I keep hearing about!

But, no. The spam is that much more despicable for perpetuating misspellings as the foundation of its message. Sick.

While it’s true that I scoff at bloggers, facebook status updaters and twitterers when they don’t adhere to my perceived standards, I still regularly steal my husband’s iphone so I can read the tweets of his friends and those he follows. I myself do not post tweets or subscribe to twitter, because I’m above all of that self-importance. … Now read my thoughts about why others’ thoughts should be up to par with my own.
I once blogged about my rules for blogging, and now I will do the same for tweets.
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